Reoccurring Dreams

Does anyone else have the dreams that repeat themselves and haunt you like I do?

There's a few simple reoccurring dreams I've had throughout the years. Maybe their simplicity is why they keep coming back or maybe it's because I haven't fully understood the message yet. I thought the time of reoccurring dreams had ended for me.. Thought. Key word there. Recently they came back for a visit.

When I was very little, I had this dream that there was something wrong in the house and the 'evil' polka dotted stuffed animal was the reason behind it. It, the stuffed animal, was evil to everyone but me so I, naturally, didn't fear it. I remember this dream because every time I woke, I knew I should have been afraid of the stuffed animal but I never was and couldn't seem to work out why.

The night before every, and I mean every, first day of class, I'd have some sort of night mare about not having my books or locker combination, not knowing where my classes were or simply not having all my clothes on and school stuff with me. The details always varied, but even in graduate school, I'd have some sort of anxiety filled dream the night before classes started.  I wasn't anxious about classes or people or anything. But, oh, would my dream tell you otherwise. Every time. Like clock work.

When I was with my last boyfriend, there were two dreams that kept repeating themselves during our relationship. The first was that I was dating the current and previous boyfriend at the same time and kept trying, but couldn't break up with the previous one. And when I did, he wouldn't get it and would hang around anyways. I always woke up anxious and irritated from those. Why he kept showing up and thinking we were together was beyond me. Possibly lack of closure? Who knows.  The second dream that kept repeating itself in my head was that my current boyfriend would disappear sometime during the dream and wouldn't be heard from again. Or, even more disturbing to me at the time, I could never find him when something terrible was happening.  I'd wake in a frightened state and be hesitant the rest of the day until he would very sympathetically reassure me that he would never leave me or just up and leave like that. The repetitiveness of those themed dreams haunted many of my nights and added, ultimately, to my insomnia.  I do enjoy that I'm now separated from both of those men and the dreams that they stared in.

Over the last two to three years, or actually even longer, the thing that keeps coming up in my dreams is that I am smoking during the dream. Its usually one of two types of smoking.  Either it's one cigarette that I slowly, luxuriously enjoy reveling in every breath.  Or its not just a cigarette. It's more like I'm chain smoking and can't stop. One after another after another.  Before I've finished one, I've lite another in glorious anticipation of its successor.  And I don't just enjoy smoking them in the dream, I enjoy lighting them.  I become filled with joy, it's the most odd sensation.  Some mornings, my dream state of smoking is so vivid that I awake with a craving for cigarettes.  Awhile ago, I actually considered buy some as I lay sleepily in my bed shortly after waking. The strangest thing for me about this is that I don't smoke. I've never smoked. And I don't want to smoke. I just dream and apparently fantasize about smoking when asleep.  In the last dream to have this theme to it, I was in my parents house, and on my second pack of cigarettes, wandering between the kitchen, living room and my old room.  A haze followed me throughout the dream and the only time I stopped smoking was to fix an old lamp that I found in the corner.

I'm not sure what the meaning of this is, if there is any to begin with.  I've started to talk to people, friends mostly, about my reoccurring dreams. They think its hilarious, the smoking dream in particular.  And their laughter is about as much help as I get on the subject, which is perfectly fine with me.  I do find dreams entertaining, even the bad ones.  To me they're like a mini movie that our brains make up in order to process bits of our lives that we won't let ourselves normally process. Well, that's what I'd like to imagine at least.  Regardless, I hope if you're having reoccurring dreams like I am that either their meaning is revealed or that they are at least entertaining to you.