I'm feeling rather unmotivated. Questioning who I am and who I want to be or should be. What I've done in my life and if my 5 year old self would approve or if my 50 year old self would even care.
It's silently raining now, which brings a calm sense of peace to my over worked brain muscle. At times I forget how simple things really are. With this new year just having started, I need to keep this in mind. I'm often torn between two sides of opinion and I think it's time for my hopeful, brave, unyielding side to take over. I do love my dark and brooding side. Don't get me wrong. She's gotten me through many a rough moment. But, I believe she is in need of a vacation, even if just for a week or two.
Anyways, in hopes of increasing my motivation levels, I plan on doing the following (and hopefully in this order) :
-Apply for more jobs! I keep doing this. Seemingly flinging my resume at a variety of jobs. Eventually, I think, one will stick.
-Write something good - just for me. Articulately getting my thoughts out of my emotional and photographic mental process has been helping me move through things for years. I believe I need to start this up again. If I get the stones to do so, I may eventually post some of these little gems.
-Paint or Sew! I have a few unfinished paintings that have been trying to lure me into their web for about a week now. And in regards to sewing, I have, oh, a few dozen projects that are taunting me and begging for attention in their partially completed states.
-Read all the books. I have a good stack going. I need to turn it back into a mole hill from the mountain that I've made.
I'm also hoping that these items will fend off my cabin feverish symptoms that are setting in. After having possibly the best New Years Eve's I've ever had..I basically am increasingly antsy to get this thang of life going. Starting this year off being single is a new and strange experience that is showing new rays of light to my blurry eyes.
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