Come to me..

..my sweetest friend..

At one point, I thought my heart gone.
Broke, hidden, nonexistent,
Dormant, dead, sluggishly slow in emotion and feeling.
Incapable of anything beyond pumping blood
Through the curves of my body.
As time's gone on and on
I realize, its too late,
It's alive and hesitant beyond all doubt.
Wishing to live free and alive again
With another of kindred spirit, gleeful laugh,
And eyes of mirth.
At times,
Pangs of longing come to me
Over simple moments.
Simple thoughts and deeds of strangers.
Genuine movements and concern
Allowing my heart to grow and
Beat anew, full of life and,
(What is this?)
Hope.
Such a glorious four letter word.

Might I be allowed a confession?
I miss cooking for someone,
Someone who truly appreciates and cares of my efforts
Hidden love, shown in the fruits of my labours.
I miss the simplest moments of sitting next to someone,
Slinging legs over a caring lap
Chatting away an afternoon, evening, or hour.
I miss having someone just mine,
At the end of the day,
Be it painfully dreadful in nature,
Or unsightly joyous and full of cheer.
Telling you of these things may sound of ease.
It's taken some time for my mind and heart to sink up
And allow me these realizations in their fullness.

I enjoy and prefer myself, by myself.
I desire not depending on anyone
Not needing that emotional support.
Not having that companion.
Knowing my strength will keep me up,
For if I don't, I shan't be able to stand.
Is there some compromise I've missed?
Some loophole I feel through
In trying to find my Hatter?

Am I to constantly feel my journey is starting again?
Fresh and new for an eternity?
Alone and unknown.
Happy, giddy, snarky and sad.
All in one case,
Encased within me.

Of one mountain,
I'm not sure is there
But oh my, do I ever hope
To see it at some point in my journey.